Take 1:
Dear Rob,
Do you need help with those horrendous dadpants?
Offering my... uh... 'services',
xoMe.

Take 2:
Dear Rob,
Yes, it's still there. The TwiMoms didn't take it without you knowing to create clones.
Breathe easy BB,
xoMe.

Hi.

Dear Rob,
You look so much cuter with somethin' in your mouth.
Nickelback Love,
xoMe.

MTV Movie Awards | Twilight: New Moon